This past week I celebrated my 47th birthday. I woke up reflective and so I wrote...
I started my day by making sure my daughter got out the door for school, to which she now drives herself! Glorious. I then made a cup of dark coffee with oat milk that I enjoyed on the quiet of my porch with dogs and cat. I sat and admired the zinnia field that I hand planted in the backyard. I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to just sit and gaze upon it.
I went in and got ready and found the t-shirt that one of my besties gave me. It has the cover of the Wildflowers album on it. I cut the collar to make it look a little old school and then promptly marched right into my garden and cut wildflowers for mason jars inside.
And then it struck me.
I marveled that my whole life I have loved flowers. I have told myself that I’m not a typical girl and that wanting flowers on my birthday or on holidays is silly. I told myself that for so many years. I never got flowers. I pouted about it. But I did not tell anyone about it. I just chided myself for being so “girly.”
Now I’m 47 and my most important lesson that I teach over and over and over again in leadership lessons and to anyone who will listen - Know Thyself. I’m still learning myself and learning how to be kind to her and love her well. And this I know: I F&%$ING LOVE FLOWERS. Not expensive roses, not cheap tinted carnations. I love wildflowers. Flowers on the side of the road. Flowers that grow in the sidewalk cracks. Flowers in fields. They just make me so so happy.
So now I have embraced it.
I planted my own field of wildflowers this past year. I did not wait on anyone else to do this except the Lord (it’s not she who plants or she who waters but God who makes the growth, remember?). And I stroll through it. Like a royal dang queen who marvels at her work. I cut flowers for the house, the tables. I gaze at it from the porch. It’s pure delight.
I started my own company. It’s called the Wildflowers. I make my rates for my teachings and consulting. I serve who I want to serve (women). I work with the city and the local business owners (who are women) to support and encourage them just for the sake of being a delight. Because I want to. And that’s what Jesus looks like to me. I get to write stories about local she-roes and heroes that get published in our beautiful local magazine. Because I want to. And for the sake of being a delight. I started a paddle boarding and yoga company so that I can be with other women and speak love and light over them in our yoga during sunset. It’s called the Wildflowers Outdoor Co. Because I want to. I love to share the lake with new friends. And for the sake of delighting in the lake and the outdoors and the water and the blue skies.
I am so grateful this morning. But this morning I’m not expressing my gratitude to those who got me this far. I’ve done that my whole life. I’ve also been frustrated with the way that others have shown up in this world at times.
Today I’m so grateful that I woke up. That God’s Spirit - she is always with me. Together we get to do some really cool stuff. Because she lives within me. And because I want to. To be a delight for no other reason than to be a delight.
Just like wildflowers do.
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